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- UK Circus Midgets Outraged |
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Photo: The
sexually vague quadruplets in action |
Released earlier this week by the
London underground press, Ragdoll
Productions has been in a heated
legal battle with the UK Circus
Midget Union for allegedly
replacing it midget workforce with
under-aged like sized children
actors. Ragdoll Productions
has denied all claims that they have
been forcing under-aged minors to
perform as the beloved Teletubbies
characters. This alleged abuse has
been traced back to early 2003 when
they switched from using highly
trained circus midgets due to their
high cost and uncontrollable
drinking habits. The only
quote we could find was from an
un-named source at Ragdoll who said
"At times we had to shutdown
production for days until we could
get enough sober midgets to complete
the foursome."
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Written by: Chester M. Lester
Posted: 3/6/06 |
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- Chinchilla Used as Hair Piece? |
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Photo: Sqeakers
the
chinchilla in action |
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Inside
associates have confirmed a claim
that Donald Trump has been paying a
trained chinchilla to lay on his
head for use as a hair piece.
"Apparently when it came time
for a hair replacement solution he didn't like the look
of traditional hair pieces so he
started thinking outside the box.
One day while googling the internet
Trump happened upon a picture of a
chinchilla named Squeakers and thought it would look
good on his head. A few phone calls
and a bunch of money later he had a
trained animal that could lay on his
head for hours on end." Said an
un-named source at the Trump
headquarters.
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Written by: Chester M. Lester
Posted: 1/25/06 |
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- Hot Dog Eating Champion Has Title
Stripped |
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Photo: 2005
Nationals Held at Nathan's |
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John
Smith from Dallas Texas had his 2005
hot dog eating championship stripped
last week after it was determined he
had gone to drastic means to cheat.
Reports show in early 2004 he had a
Rubbermaid water cooler surgically
inserted into his lower stomach for
use as a waste receptacle. "Apparently
he was able to eat up to 8 gallons
of food in one sitting before he
needed to dump his load." Said Craig
Smith founder of Fat Bastard Eating
Contests, Inc.
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Written by: Chester M. Lester
Posted: 1/22/06 |
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| - Proud
Camero Driving Mullet Wearing Papas to be |
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| Photo: From left
to right - Bubba, Jo Bob, Cletis |
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Scientists from the University of Arkansas
have reported the first three successful
cases of male artificial insemination.
The three men will be undergoing
several more tests but initial
results has been good. Gene
Clark from the universities medical
school was quoted as saying, "At
this point we just need to figure
out where they are going to come
out. We didn't actually think
it would work so we hadn't thought
that far ahead."
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Written by: Pat E. Kake
Posted: 1/17/06 |
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600 Pound New Jersey Man
Accidentally Eats Own Cat. |
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| Photo: Mr.
Chiliwig after his accident |
Chuck Sampson from Newark New Jersey
reportedly ate his own cat while chowing
down on six buckets of KFC on Sunday.
"I usually just dump all the chicken on the
table and have at it, he must have jumped up
there and I didn't notice. I don't
know what hurt more, knowing I killed Mr.
Chiliwig or
actually passing him through me." Said
Chuck Sampson Monday after the incident.
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Written by: Carl Miller
Posted: 1/12/06 |
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"Why do
overweight people
always wait for the
absolute closest
parking spaces when
shopping?
Don't they need the
exercise the most?" |
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-
Peter James |
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Submit a thought |
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